Thursday, July 7, 2011

EA Live Press Conference - July 2011

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:20 pm
MMMMMYes

D O'Dubhslaine 2:20 pm
J, shut up

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:21 pm
Make me

D O'Dubhslaine 2:21 pm
fine

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:21 pm
FINE

D O'Dubhslaine 2:21 pm
J
you need to calm down

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:22 pm
Says the man who lived with lions for a time
by the way, you'll have to post this conversation

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:22 pm
I'll do the summary, but you'll have to do the convo

D O'Dubhslaine 2:22 pm
that's fine

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:22 pm
and make sure it doesn't go all weird again

D O'Dubhslaine 2:22 pm
I can handle that J
I'm not completely inept

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:23 pm
Lions

D O'Dubhslaine 2:23 pm
who won status of alpha male?
Who J?
that's right
me
it was me
all me
did you?
no
would you ever?
no
you don't have the sand to do it

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:23 pm
They're lions
Lions are foolish creatures, we both know that

D O'Dubhslaine 2:25 pm
you fool
you absolute moron

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:26 pm
Lions have no concept of relativity, culture, or technology

D O'Dubhslaine 2:27 pm
because they don't need it

D O'Dubhslaine 2:27 pm
although you're incorrect about culture
their culture is absolutely fascinating
actually

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:27 pm
Do they produce pottery?

D O'Dubhslaine 2:27 pm
you're wrong about technology too
yes

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:27 pm
Or art?

D O'Dubhslaine 2:27 pm
yes

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:28 pm
How many smart phones are in the lion community?

D O'Dubhslaine 2:28 pm
who do you think painted the Sistine Chapel J?
a lion
they don't need smart phones, they communicate via telepathy

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:28 pm
Oh wow
I had no idea!
I stand corrected, ol boy!

D O'Dubhslaine 2:29 pm
indeed ;-)
also hot wings
that's a lion's invention


J Wellington Rommefeller 2:29 pm
Remarkable!

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:29 pm
what about airplanes

D O'Dubhslaine 2:29 pm
sorry, they didn't do that, didn't see the point in airplanes
since they can run on air

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:30 pm
Did they teach you how to do that?

D O'Dubhslaine 2:30 pm
They promised that if I were to return to the pride for a longer period of time, they would teach me
there was simply not near enough time to do so ol' boy

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:31 pm
We should vacation there one day

D O'Dubhslaine 2:32 pm
hmm quite

D O'Dubhslaine 2:52 pm
you know what I wonder J?

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:53 pm
What's that, Colonel?

D O'Dubhslaine 2:53 pm
how this lad on Man vs. Food hasn't keeled over from explosives diabetes by now
his arteries most be as clogged as my old Model-T engine block

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:55 pm
I believe that's why he created his other show--he grew weary of dying

D O'Dubhslaine 2:55 pm
oh he has another show?
I was not aware

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:55 pm
Man vs. Food Nation
he gets other people to eat the food for him

D O'Dubhslaine 2:58 pm
press conference should be starting soon
what's that link again old boy?

J Wellington Rommefeller 2:59 pm
http://www.gamespot.com/shows/on-the-spot/?tag=calendar%3Btitle%3B1

D O'Dubhslaine 3:00 pm
ah yes
thank you sir
I'm going to go get me a scotch a a light snack
before this begins

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:00 pm
Capital idea
but it's already begun!
I can only hear audio through the left side of my hear, but that's alright
None of this is important so far

D O'Dubhslaine 3:04 pm
reload the page
a man with a rather lovely accent is speaking

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:04 pm
Yes and he seems to know what he's talking about
Ah yes, much better

D O'Dubhslaine 3:05 pm
wait
is he talking about a sports game?

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:05 pm
yes

D O'Dubhslaine 3:05 pm
I'm going to take a nap

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:05 pm
this is the EA Sports section

D O'Dubhslaine 3:05 pm
good night J

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:05 pm
Hah!

D O'Dubhslaine 3:06 pm
I haven't cared about sports games since the N64 days
I'm sorry
it's just not me

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:06 pm
that's fine

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:06 pm
I'm not a sports game fan either

D O'Dubhslaine 3:07 pm
I mean I'd like to do some commentary on this
but
I don't know a thing about modern sports games
because of how little I care
though I will say, the idea of college football for games would prove interesting

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:08 pm
Yes, but it's nothing new

D O'Dubhslaine 3:09 pm
oh it's been done before?
shows how little I know

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:09 pm
Hah!
This is the 2012 version of NCAA

D O'Dubhslaine 3:09 pm
I liked the spatter of applause at the end of the NCAA trailer

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:10 pm
I'm certain other versions have been released as far back as 5 years ago, though that's an overly conservative estimate

D O'Dubhslaine 3:11 pm
according to the internet, it goes as far back as 1993
So Sega Genesis/CD and SNES even had it
wow

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:11 pm
You're quite out of the loop in this area
though to be fair, so am I
the only sports game I played was NFL Blitz 2000

D O'Dubhslaine 3:12 pm
how about that old boy, that was the one sports game I played!

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:13 pm
the graphics here look impressive

D O'Dubhslaine 3:14 pm
they really worked on the physics engine for full contact

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:15 pm
yes, it seems they placed much emphasis on player accuracy

D O'Dubhslaine 3:15 pm
though I say
instead of wearing typical hockey pads

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:15 pm
Oh my

D O'Dubhslaine 3:15 pm
they wear only leotards

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:15 pm
more Sims games

D O'Dubhslaine 3:16 pm
Medieval Sims

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:16 pm
I've actualyl ehard good things about this game

D O'Dubhslaine 3:16 pm
Complete with Tudors dynasty and shortened life span

D O'Dubhslaine 3:17 pm
Oh LORD

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:17 pm
Oh my
make him leave

D O'Dubhslaine 3:17 pm
QUIT THAT
I am so sick of fake British accents being cockney
oh wait
cockney pirate talk
this is much better
UGH
disgusting

D O'Dubhslaine 3:19 pm
oh good, he's leaving

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:20 pm
Whew!
I had a minor stroke because of his terrible voice
Luckily, my fortitude saved me

D O'Dubhslaine 3:20 pm
I need more scotch

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:21 pm
Oh my
please don't talk about Origin

D O'Dubhslaine 3:22 pm
J, thus far I've not enjoyed this press conference

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:24 pm
I agree

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:24 pm
I'm bored thus far

D O'Dubhslaine 3:25 pm
this Origin
I want to smack it

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:25 pm
unfortunately, it's not a tangible noun

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:27 pm
Exclusive perks for Origin users

D O'Dubhslaine 3:27 pm
oh goodie!

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:28 pm
Hmm, this is interesting
iPhone 4s connected to an iPad connected to a TV

D O'Dubhslaine 3:28 pm
hmmm

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:29 pm
the graphics just look okay
PSP graphics

D O'Dubhslaine 3:29 pm
oh
oh great
Facebook games J

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:30 pm
Risk Facebook games?
Really?
You've always wanted to play with your friends on Facebook?
AlwayS?

D O'Dubhslaine 3:30 pm
there's a donkey
with a carrot

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:31 pm
I must say, I'm enjoying this trailer
ti's quite silly
if the game looks like this, I may be alright with it

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:34 pm
That's not innovative!
oh wait, all four at the same time on one screen? That may be interesting
hang on

D O'Dubhslaine 3:35 pm
to what?
TO WHAT J?

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:36 pm
Okay, yes, not innovative
Teacher mode? That sounds like cheater mode

D O'Dubhslaine 3:37 pm
ironic that it's called teacher mode then
;-)

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:38 pm
Oh my
was that it?
Okay, whew!
Leave the stage EA Interactive

D O'Dubhslaine 3:39 pm
Wow
that
was pathetic J
I'm sorry
but
blegh

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:39 pm
you would have expected more from a lesser studio?
yes, I would have to
but Burnout Crash sounds fun so far

D O'Dubhslaine 3:40 pm
sure but that's like batting 1/6

D O'Dubhslaine 3:42 pm
also these presenters need to take some diction classes

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:42 pm
i agree, their enunciation needs work

D O'Dubhslaine 3:42 pm
it's atrocious!@
!*

D O'Dubhslaine 3:46 pm
what'st his about Dragon Age II?

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:46 pm
Well secret world looked interesting
and harping on how wonderful DA2 is
what are they up to

D O'Dubhslaine 3:46 pm
oh is that it?
so no upcoming sequel?
no DLC?
OH hey!

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:47 pm
Is that DLC or a new game?

D O'Dubhslaine 3:47 pm
kinda both
like Awakening was for Origins I'm guessing

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:47 pm
like Assassin's Creed Brotherhood?

D O'Dubhslaine 3:48 pm
perhaps
when was the release date? End of July?

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:51 pm
I didn't catch it

D O'Dubhslaine 3:52 pm
ah July 26th

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:54 pm
How would you rate this press conference?

D O'Dubhslaine 3:54 pm
overall?
not very impressive

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:54 pm
I agree

D O'Dubhslaine 3:55 pm
they really were at a stretch to show off very slight advances
not really worth a press conference
kind of like the report you throw together for a professor the night before
it works
but
only because of a deadline

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:55 pm
yes, precisely!
Or when you're trying to argue for something, but can only really come up with one good reason
and twelve terrible reasons
but you put them all in just hoping to convince the other person of your views

D O'Dubhslaine 3:56 pm
yep
this was just a blender smoothie of sub-standard information

J Wellington Rommefeller 3:58 pm
i couldn't have put it any more eloquently myself
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