Monday, June 6, 2011

Conversation of Microsoft Live Press Coverage at E3 2011

J. Wellington Rommefeller and the Colonel conversed while watching the Microsoft Press Conference. The following conversation represents their views on the news. For actual news, see the post below this one.

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:30 am
Oh my, the briefing is about to begin
That's what that nice woman said on the loud speaker

D O'Dubhslaine 11:31 am
I presently have a Klondike bar commercial
Lord almighty those look tasty

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:31 am
The stage just appeared!

D O'Dubhslaine 11:31 am
KLONDIKE
ah

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:31 am
It looks quire magical and green, as always

D O'Dubhslaine 11:31 am
here we go
AH
Modern Warfare 3
I'm excited for this

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:32 am
There had better be some soldiers running through the crowd or i will be sorely disappointed

D O'Dubhslaine 11:32 am
are those chaps underwater?

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:32 am
I didn't know fire could exist underwater

D O'Dubhslaine 11:32 am
we never had those types of devices in my day
exactly
apparently our military has defied all science
well done lads



J Wellington Rommefeller 11:33 am
Haha, 2 minutes into a game demo and already a hardware malfunction

D O'Dubhslaine 11:33 am
well graphically this looks good
OH MY GOD
there was a body just floating in the water
it looked like he was waving

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:34 am
The debris effects are quite good. It reminds me of Dead Space's debris in 0G

D O'Dubhslaine 11:34 am
it reminds me of one of my missions in the Air

D O'Dubhslaine 11:34 am
when my Spitfire was shot down over the channel

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:34 am
Oh yes, how was that?

D O'Dubhslaine 11:35 am
quite chilly
Did that mine just look like an old Goldeneye remote mine?
cause it did to me

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:35 am
If it had been clad in red everywhere, yes
Oh my, is that NYC?

D O'Dubhslaine 11:35 am
Sir, I do believe that it
in my day, we never galavanted around on top of submarines
tthis also looks like Goldeneye

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:36 am
In your day, subs were powered by foot pedals

D O'Dubhslaine 11:36 am
that ship level?

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:36 am
Oh yes, Frigate

D O'Dubhslaine 11:36 am
yes that one
only minus the blood
that was well above N64

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:37 am
I wonder if we'll get the chance to kick people in the face, or if that's just a cruel NPC ability

D O'Dubhslaine 11:37 am
I believe that'll be saved for Duke NUkem
I loved the slow motion bullettime sequences in the previous Modern Warfare titles

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:38 am
Hah! I love when "In the interest of time" comes up. You never know if it's actually in the interest of time or if it's just them being lazy

D O'Dubhslaine 11:38 am
I believe my stream is ahead of yours

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:38 am
Nobody is watching the crowd. As the come out of the sub, they'll bust into the LA convention center

D O'Dubhslaine 11:38 am
mine just launched ICBMs

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:39 am
Yes, your stream is ahead of mine by about 15 seconds

D O'Dubhslaine 11:39 am
OH MY

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:39 am
ICBMs just launched for me

D O'Dubhslaine 11:39 am
this water chase sequence
beautiful graphically speaking
aboslutely stunning
absolutely*

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:39 am
"Oh my I didn't know metal could catch on fire"

D O'Dubhslaine 11:40 am
this fire of the future
apparently it works on everything
water, metal
probably on sand in another level

D O'Dubhslaine 11:40 am
you're about to meet Glen
he's Glen

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:41 am
Well that was a good way to kick off E3
He's wearing a snappy vest

D O'Dubhslaine 11:41 am
indeed
I wish he would button his shirt the rest of the way
and wear a proper tie

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:41 am
I agree
I also wonder if the game is actually epic, or if they are trying to appeal to gamers with net-lingo

D O'Dubhslaine 11:42 am
as this lad Don strolls out like he's Mr. Stroll
actually

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:42 am
Hello, Mattrick. Your oddly shaped face makes me excited for news

D O'Dubhslaine 11:42 am
seeing as the previous titles all follow this long overlaying storyline
it actually could be defined as an epic

D O'Dubhslaine 11:43 am
Oh
I love his accent

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:43 am
Xbox TV
That sounds intriguing
Back to what's actually happening
Hmm, I'm not sure what to make of the new Tomb Raider
Hopefully the Demo will help me.

D O'Dubhslaine 11:44 am
it appears they're trying to take it more seriously
and less about mammary glands

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:44 am
Oh dear, Lara looks like she's in Silent Hill
This reminds me of Uncharted, but grittier

D O'Dubhslaine 11:46 am
ok I don't think interaction of grabbing and relighting a torch is really necessary

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:46 am
This could be just the tutorial level and it would behoove them to show something like that early on if they plan of having you do it later

D O'Dubhslaine 11:46 am
did he just pronounce her name
Layra

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:46 am
The claustrophibia in here is well cone
*done
And, surprisingly, yes, he mispronounced her name

D O'Dubhslaine 11:47 am
yes, it does set a very intense environment
running action sequence

D O'Dubhslaine 11:48 am
cue the rolling boulder
and John williams music

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:48 am
I will say though, her yells aren't that convincing

D O'Dubhslaine 11:49 am
they really aren't
I was just thinking that, good show lad
the voice acting seems a bit...forced
ooooh bad form Mr. Announcer

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:49 am
yes, definitely

D O'Dubhslaine 11:49 am
don't ever say "We hope you enjoyed this"
assume the audience did
that just sounds like you're fishing for hope

D O'Dubhslaine 11:50 am
I'll be honest J., I don't play sports games

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:50 am
Oh Peter, how we missed you at Xbox
Neither do I, old boy
Not since NFL Blitz 2000

D O'Dubhslaine 11:50 am
Oh THERE was a fun game!
that's the last time I did as well
The Sims 3:Pets?

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:51 am
Bioware
Oh my, of course it's Mass Effect 3

D O'Dubhslaine 11:52 am
I'll also be honest here J., I haven't found the time to play the other Mass Effect games
these safaris sure do break into my game time

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:53 am
You know, neither have I. It certainly looked appealing, but I just never picked it up

D O'Dubhslaine 11:53 am
indeed
which is bizarre, I've heard great things about the gmaes
ugh
am I the only one who finds this voice acting also a bit...droll?

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:55 am
No, not at all. And the voice commands seem unnecessary

D O'Dubhslaine 11:55 am
alot of times yes
it's like giving you options for no other sake than to give you an option
without much differentiation
OH LOOK, A MECHWARRIOR
Spy creeping around here!

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:57 am
Spy shootin my truck!

D O'Dubhslaine 11:57 am
this bullettime sequence is positively stunning!
almost surreal
OH MY

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:58 am
This trailer looks amazing! however, I'd like to see how the actual gameplay is.

D O'Dubhslaine 11:58 am
no kidding
but they didn their job and have drawn me in!
OH WOW

D O'Dubhslaine 11:59 am
that Kinect interaction
it's like Minority Report

J Wellington Rommefeller 11:59 am
It seems they took a note from Iron Man

D O'Dubhslaine 11:59 am
and customizing the weapon down to stock, gas system, side rail?
I'm already VERY interested

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:00 pm
That's going to be a huge asset to people like you

D O'Dubhslaine 12:00 pm
AND VOICE COMMANDS

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:00 pm
for people like me, the voice commands like "optimize for close combat" is the way to go

D O'Dubhslaine 12:00 pm
J
I can't believe I'm going to say this
but I actually may want an Xbox

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:01 pm
The kinect controls seem a little sloppy though

D O'Dubhslaine 12:01 pm
well ok, that was premature
I would like to just say things such as "Optimize long range weapon"
actually shooting them, I need a mouse and keyboard
maybe we could have such voice commands for the PC version via a mic
HAHAHAHA
the MAGIC of Kinect
it's Magic J!
IT'S MAGIC

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:03 pm
Hmm, it seems they're trying to unite the UIs across multiple operating systems
By the way, that Lady Gaga album cover is just ludicrous and brings about a rage in me that I can't explain
Anyway, Windows 8, Windows Phone 7, and now Xbox Live area ll going the way of Tiles
It's not a bad thing, I'm just noticing a trend here
Youtube on Xbox Live!

D O'Dubhslaine 12:05 pm
the way of Tiles?
oh you mean the layout system?

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:05 pm
Their icons look identical to windows phone 7

D O'Dubhslaine 12:05 pm
right

D O'Dubhslaine 12:05 pm
well
it's cool looking

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:05 pm
Their bing service looks interesting

D O'Dubhslaine 12:05 pm
but I prefer the Gnome3 layout for Linux ;-)
I'm waiting for the voice command lass to go
"Xbox self destruct"
and there's a little puff of smoke and a smouldering console

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:07 pm
Haha!

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:07 pm
Their Xbox Live additions look exciting

D O'Dubhslaine 12:08 pm
and for only an additional 20 dollars a month, it's yours!
;-)

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:08 pm
Dana White! I know about him!
They bought Strikeforce

D O'Dubhslaine 12:09 pm
who are these ruffians?

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:09 pm
They are fighters for the UFC, a form of fighting league

D O'Dubhslaine 12:09 pm
martial arts?
I could take on every single one of these lads in fisticuffs

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:10 pm
Martial arts, boxing, and wrestling (the real one)

D O'Dubhslaine 12:10 pm
and they'd sing all about it in Vaudeville
he sure stutters a lot
p-p-power
with the X....Xob
Xbox

D O'Dubhslaine 12:11 pm
ugh Lord almighty, I keep having to buffer

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:12 pm
Yes, mine stopped a little bit ago

D O'Dubhslaine 12:12 pm
J. I have to be honest with you here as well
never played Gears of War

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:12 pm
Now it's Gears of War 3

D O'Dubhslaine 12:12 pm
it just never appealed to me
and what is this God awful music?!

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:12 pm
I believe it's by a man named Ozzie
I've only heard of him, but he seems like a ruffian

D O'Dubhslaine 12:12 pm
What in sam blazes kind of name is that?

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:13 pm
I have no idea
A silly one

D O'Dubhslaine 12:13 pm
Oh Good God
a man is inside a pavilion
and wearing sunglasses

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:13 pm
Ice T is on stage. I think he's on Law and Order

D O'Dubhslaine 12:13 pm
who does he think he is? Sammy Davis Jr.?

D O'Dubhslaine 12:13 pm
Oh my

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:13 pm
Oh my, now Sammy is the man

D O'Dubhslaine 12:14 pm
they are using quite rough language

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:14 pm
It seems to go with their gruff motif

D O'Dubhslaine 12:14 pm
I like how the game's first footage starts with "WHAT THOSE TENTACLES"
WATCH*
"We're going to need a bigger cattle prod"?
who wrote this dialogue?!

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:15 pm
Rubes, Colonel
Ruuuuuubes

D O'Dubhslaine 12:15 pm
oh yes, announce to go for the eyes
only a few animals in the world have a weakness there, it's good to make sure everyone knows this is one of them
I can't tell if they want me to take this game seriously or not

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:18 pm
I believe it's supposed to look like that--A little silyl with alot of violence

D O'Dubhslaine 12:18 pm
I guess

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:18 pm
Some sort of Rome based game, it looks like

D O'Dubhslaine 12:18 pm
with Roman puppies
"Gladiator: THe Puppy War"
eh
taking Rome and making it a mega Kinect game
already I know this won't be too great
it's all about showing off Kinect

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:19 pm
This cinematic certainly looks interesting
but the Kinect aspect of it, I'm a little skeptical about

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:20 pm
halo music
Cue announcements we've already heard

D O'Dubhslaine 12:20 pm
cue the Monk songs
maybe you can answer me this
how did Halo redefine gaming?
I just don't see it

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:20 pm
it redefined console gaming, certainly
Its multiplayer was like that on PC

D O'Dubhslaine 12:21 pm
so this is a "First Halo game in HD and that's about it"

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:21 pm
and certainly, consoles at that time weren't up to snuff in that category

D O'Dubhslaine 12:21 pm
ah
my stream just went offline

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:22 pm
As did mine. Mine started over

D O'Dubhslaine 12:22 pm
and just started over

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:22 pm
There, Just slide the slider to the end

D O'Dubhslaine 12:22 pm
it still goes offline
blast!
a friend of mine sure does love Forza

D O'Dubhslaine 12:24 pm
that's aboutall I can say on that

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:26 pm
Ah blast, really?
Kinect controls?

D O'Dubhslaine 12:26 pm
they're really banking on this Kinect
oh just imagine playing a Dragonball Z game using Kinect

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:27 pm
oh my, i could imagein that, yes
*imagine

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:28 pm
Minecraft?

D O'Dubhslaine 12:28 pm
Kinect Minecraft?

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:28 pm
Oh my, Kinect minecraft?
Wait, that was it? No elaboration?

D O'Dubhslaine 12:29 pm
wait how did Minecraft suddenly go into Disney int he same sentence?
Disneyland Kinect

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:30 pm
I have no idea. I'm still reeling

D O'Dubhslaine 12:30 pm
I'm sure kids will love that
for about 23 minutes
...wow

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:30 pm
I had to cut the sound.

D O'Dubhslaine 12:30 pm
these child actors

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:30 pm
I cannot listen to these children

D O'Dubhslaine 12:30 pm
I believe I'll followsuit
"Oh look out"
"Oh not a waterfall"
"watch out, cannonballs"
ugh

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:31 pm
Hooray, Captain Hook!

D O'Dubhslaine 12:31 pm
as they fall through the tunnel and the narrow doors, they should just hit the wall
*SPLAT*

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:31 pm
"We'll get those other coins next time"

D O'Dubhslaine 12:32 pm
and the character just stays hanging there in a bloody mess

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:32 pm
that sounds like something my neice would say, so I'm believing the little boy
And his fist bump

D O'Dubhslaine 12:32 pm
that kid was rad
...that is what youngsters these days say, isn't it?

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:32 pm
I believe so
At first, i thought you misspelled raid
and i was quite confused
oh no, not Kinect Star wars

D O'Dubhslaine 12:33 pm
Yes J
Kinect Star Wars

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:33 pm
If they don't show off actual gameplay, I will be quite peeved

D O'Dubhslaine 12:34 pm
wow, even in this demo you can see how slow the controls are
*moves hand*
*...*
*lightsaber slash*

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:34 pm
Yes, this is certainly something to play with friends one or two times just to laugh at the game.

D O'Dubhslaine 12:34 pm
and then get angry with for hours

D O'Dubhslaine 12:34 pm
much like Mario Party, but in the wrong way
DID YOU SEE THAT?
that was so slow in response!
that's just...pathetic!

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:35 pm
This game had so much potential, but the controls just can't do it

D O'Dubhslaine 12:35 pm
absolutely not

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:36 pm
It's an on-rails shooter with incredibly slow response time

D O'Dubhslaine 12:36 pm
exactly

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:36 pm
And having quick gameplay is the only good thing about on-rails shooters

D O'Dubhslaine 12:36 pm
I'm bored just watching it, how can that be fun?
this is just lazy my friend

D O'Dubhslaine 12:36 pm
absolutely lazy

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:37 pm
Now that I see this gameplay, I think it may have been better to just show cinemas.
I would have been angry, but not disappointed.
This is embarassing.

D O'Dubhslaine 12:37 pm
and more would've bought it

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:37 pm
Do you even have a health bar?

D O'Dubhslaine 12:37 pm
I didn't see one

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:37 pm
And who are these two Siths?

D O'Dubhslaine 12:37 pm
honestly, I don't care

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:38 pm
tTm Schafer! He's never bad.
(Tim
my typing is atrocious today

D O'Dubhslaine 12:38 pm
I never hold it against you my friend ;-)

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:39 pm
Haha, it's nice that he's being funny

D O'Dubhslaine 12:39 pm
this Seseame Street Game

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:39 pm
I bet kids would love this game

D O'Dubhslaine 12:39 pm
it looks good graphically
I think so too
it's definitely gearing to the right audience it's meant for
however, I want Elmo and Cookie MOnster to pull out a couple of assault rifles and open up on the monster world
Me...want...CoooOOOKIEEEEEE *blam blam blam blam blam*

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:40 pm
I think your years in the service have made you a bit "touched"

D O'Dubhslaine 12:40 pm
perhaps
but I'm ok with this

D O'Dubhslaine 12:41 pm
Sesame Street: Modern Warfare 4
a game for ALL ages!

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:42 pm
Oh my, Kudo
He looks like the man from Big Lebowski
How did he ever obtain a job?

D O'Dubhslaine 12:42 pm
I've had about enough of Kinect here ol' boy

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:43 pm
Oh, well I'm actually interested in Fun labs

D O'Dubhslaine 12:43 pm
oh good, tell me all about 9it
I'm going to make me a drink

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:44 pm
They're showing off Avatar Creation with a Kinect Fun Labs app
and it looks great!

D O'Dubhslaine 12:52 pm
ok I'm back

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:52 pm
Oh my

D O'Dubhslaine 12:52 pm
did I miss anything important?
or just more Kinect?

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:52 pm
Yes
Kinect Sports Season 2 actually looks fun
A little silly, but not bad

D O'Dubhslaine 12:53 pm
The Best Selling Kinect Dance game
out of how many kinect dance games?

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:54 pm
I don't know, but I think we'd be both surprised with how many there are

D O'Dubhslaine 12:54 pm
possibly

D O'Dubhslaine 12:54 pm
these dances they have playing Kinect dance
they look better than the game characters

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:54 pm
They may have improved some of the functionality in the game, but they can't prevent you from looking like a fool in real life

D O'Dubhslaine 12:55 pm
not at all
not unless you spend the time necessary to memorize the dances of each song
and then you can properly show off

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:55 pm
Even then, I suspect people will still snicker
Wait, "we'll see you at E3?"

D O'Dubhslaine 12:55 pm
possibly

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:55 pm
isn't this E3?

D O'Dubhslaine 12:55 pm
Press Conference my friend

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:55 pm
Hello again Matrick

D O'Dubhslaine 12:55 pm
this isn't the aired on live television

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:56 pm
Ah yes

D O'Dubhslaine 12:56 pm
just live on the world wide web

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:57 pm
Big talk from Microsoft

D O'Dubhslaine 12:57 pm
dawn of a new Trilogy

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:58 pm
This cinematic certainly looks interesting

D O'Dubhslaine 12:58 pm
Oh right
Halo

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:58 pm
Oh yes! a new Halo!
I'm actually interested in this.

D O'Dubhslaine 12:58 pm
IN SPAAAACE

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:58 pm
It looks like fun!
Oh my, what is that?
I haven't been interested in a Halo game ina long time. But they hooked me
Looks like the rumors were true

D O'Dubhslaine 12:59 pm
at least they hooked one of us

D O'Dubhslaine 12:59 pm
my stream crashed again

J Wellington Rommefeller 12:59 pm
it's over

D O'Dubhslaine 12:59 pm
ah
that'd be why
ok lad, see you at the next coverage


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