Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Red Dead Redemption Review

Red Dead RedemptionColonel D. O'Dubhshlaine reporting in as ordered to you lads and lasses alike. I feel as though it's been far too long since our last pint together, wouldn't you agree old boy? All right, all right, straight to business. Red Dead Redemption. Many of you have played it, of this I'm certain. Myself, I've devoted much of my precious time to playing this game and I can ascertain one very simple conclusion: if this game could be a replacement leg for the one I lost in the old war, well, I would wear it proudly as if my own mother made it. I don't think it can get any clearer than that. Now for the simpletons in the audience, I'll reveal why this game is so bloody good without divulging too much of the plot; too much spoiling is like a bout of gout...at first it's not a catastrophe, but as more sets in, it gets to be a real bother of a problem 'ere wot.

Now then, plot and characters. As far as storylines go, this particular one is almost worthy of Conan Doyle's signature, which, I'm certain my esteemed colleague Mr. Rommefeller can attest, is quite a compliment to bestow upon a story. If you're a veteran of previous games in this series, then you'll already know John Marston's back-story. However, therein lies one of the joys of this game; the player needn’t be a veteran to the previous titles to fully appreciate the characters, much like the tales of Sherlock Holmes. The moment John literally steps off the boat, you're drawn in to his story, and if you aren't then I can say with a full certainty you were probably born without a shred of a gentleman's soul in you, you dim-headed troll of a man. Throughout the entire game, the story involves unique and interesting characters that bestow all sorts of emotions, creating a very diverse environment. In fact, the style of this story is what makes me appreciate this game so bloody much.


I had the honor to play this game on my Playstation 3 and I can say that although not entirely perfect (though what game's controls are, eh old boy?), the control schematics of this particular game were definitely very good, and this can be proven by one simple fact; they did exactly what I ruddy well wanted them to! I could sit upon my leather lounging chair and play the game without needing to actually look at the controller or pause the game to look up how to do something. I acted, my character reacted, it was that simple. However, I do feel many people complain far too often about "bad controls". I will grant that while there are some games with impossible-to-respond controls, I feel more oft than not, people whinge about controls simply because they're codswallops who are still accustomed to a previous game's controls and don't want to put in the proper effort to learn. If my old Captain heard such complaining, it'd be 10 days in the heatbox for you!


Ack, I'm getting off track. Right! Red Dead!

I think gameplay itself is next and last, in which I'll try to incorporate the elements of playability, sound, and diversity of style. The gameplay itself is as addicting as a good gin and tonic. I'll admit, as a young lad I would dream of being an old west cowboy yankee doodle who would ride into the sunset shooting blazes of gunfire into the air (although without the whole "suppression of a native people and driving them off land in name of manifest destiny" bit). This game properly allows anyone with such a childhood fantasy to live it out, which is probably why it's so bloody good. You can complete a main storyline that is beyond enthralling, or you can waste some good time riding your steed from town to town completing side quests, saving damsels, or even just play a good gentleman's game of poker. The music can be summed in this one sentence...it sets the mood as much as a Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries sets the mood for any pilot going into combat. Although the music is very western-themed, which is just fine, it's the style of each area of this massive map that truly impresses me. You not only have your wild west towns to enjoy, but you have the American desert, the Mexican border, and the Northern forested territories that would you expect in any Yankee western movie. In fact, this map alone just shows the diverse nature this game includes. It's probably this diversity along a central theme that leaves the replay value of the game very high in my book. Any chance I feel the need to relive a childhood dream, it's easy to do without worry of boredom setting in.



If I feel the need to collect bounties on hooligans around the town of Armadillo or hunt dangerous prey in the northern woods (as I tend to do in my spare time around home 'ere wot), it's all available! Now, I'd go into more detail for the areas, but really what's the bloody point? They're apart of the map, they're incredible, and all that's left is for you to enjoy them yourself to see what I mean.

The Colonel's Conclusion:

I'm done with this bloody review, you've got all you need to know, now get off your arse and get to this game! If you have already, well, then good for you lad/lassie, I'm glad to see some of you still have good enough sense to recognize an incredible game when you see one.


~The Colonel
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